Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I can't begin to comprehend the amount of stress I have put myself threw, unnecessarily. I don't know why I do it to myself. I know I have nothing to feel guilty about. My father molested my sister, yet, I'm the only one who can't forgive him. Both of my sisters visit him on a regular basis. Yet still, I cry at night because I miss him, and feel that I have no choice but to disown him. What hurts the most is that he was a good father to me. He never hurt me in that way. I never thought he could ever do something so terrible. Why is it that I am the only one who is still mad? Is it because I have a daughter to protect? I wonder what will happen if and when my sisters have children. Will their feelings change? Will they ignore the fact that he molested my sister when she was a young girl? Threw this past year, I have become the outcast in the family, even more so than I have always been. I'm the bitch who won't talk to dad. That's I am viewed, as a bitch, for protecting my daughter. There is so many lies and deception in my family. But I still feel guilty, and I know I shouldn't. But I can't help it.

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